


Se Défoncer

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Hate Sex, M/M, Reference to Drug Use, Sopor Slime, humans can't do troll romance, sort of kismesis, under the influence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-02
Updated: 2014-02-02
Packaged: 2018-01-10 22:11:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1165144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You have three years to waste on this meteor, you're going to end up regretting some of the things you end up doing. Gamzee/Dave hatefic oneshot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Se Défoncer

I hate him. He makes my skin crawl, and I used to think only Cal could do that. What’s his deal anyway? Freaky Juggalo clown troll. Trolls aren’t supposed to have juggalos. No species is. Karkat says subjugglators are a thing, and they were pretty hardcore. Not this stoner bullshit. Then he goes on about he snapped and murdered a bunch of their troll friends and refuses to tell me anything beyond “stay the fuck away” which I am happy to do so. It would be my luck to get stuck on a meteor with an unstable troll that hides in the vents that alternates between chill stoner and psycho killer. It’s like, pick a personality and stick to it.

 

 

I hate him. He’s the one who showed me the video. The one who showed me my faith was a joke. The one Karkat and Terezi are always motherfucking talking about. Like he’s so great. Just some motherfucker with motherfucking strawberry jam coursing through his veins. It was funny when I told him I wanted some strawberry jam to add to the sandwich I was making. I wonder if he knew the motherfucking double meaning.

 

Okay, so I found out he like to get high. Cool. Can’t say I’ve never smoked a little pot back in Texas. I also can’t say I haven’t hacked up a lung on the first hit like a fucking jackass. And he likes rap. That’s cool, I guess. But like hell will I ever admit that we have something in common.

 

That motherfucker likes slam poetry. Not that he’s any good at it. I can hear him talking to himself when he’s alone and I’m all up in the vents, getting my spying on. He’s got a good beat, but his rhymes are motherfucking awful.

 

I’ll call it a morbid curiosity. Yeah, that’s what it is. That’s why I’m alchemizing this fucking gross green sopor/sober slime stuff. Terezi says it gets trolls high but you aren’t really supposed to eat it. I wanna see if humans can get high off it. I mean everyone else on this stupid rock is asleep so why not try it out? As soon as I finally have some there’s Gamzee, like a dog who comes around when they smell food. “Can I get some of that?” He asks.

 

 

This human ain’t half bad when he’s stoned out of his think pan. All giggly and dumb, and he rambles without making any sense. So he ain’t all that motherfucking different from when he’s sober except for the giggling part. I wonder how he’d all up and look in some clown makeup.

 

I don’t know how it happened. One minute I’m laughing my ass off about something stupid, and the next thing I know my hair’s a mess, my face has white and grey sloppy face paint on it, and this fucker has me in a room on the meteor. On the floor, facing a mirror; making me watch as he fucks me from behind. And he has me on his lap, his teeth biting my shoulders, his hands clinging on to me too tightly and his claws leaving scratches on my stomach and chest and I feel like spacing out, I’m stoned out of my mind.

 

Honk.


End file.
